new blog anyone?

I dont ever know how to say things. Unless Im in an argument, Im useless. I never blog anymore. I haven't been on since April. And everytime I get on or blog I end up deleting it due to the fact that I cant take the truth. I suck at these things, really. And everything seems to be blowing up in my face recently. Im tired of being used. Take me back 2 summers ago and Ill show you a fucking smile. I dont know why I let what he did effect me so much. I mean this sort of thing happens to girls everyday, and they adjust. So will I. I just didnt know it would take this long. And I hate trying to play it off like its all cool when its not. Three people already know. Im such an idiot. A gullible little girl. And Ill never be the same. And now Im talking to a really great guy and he wants to know why I was so happy then and not now. But I am happy. Just a different kind of happy. Im not a kid anymore.There. I said it. And I sounded like a fucking idiot. But who gives a shit? Not me.

Am I doing everything right?

Im back in the dating game and I hope I do it right this time. I will not allow myself to fuck it up this time. God, Im pathetic and extremely codependant. Oh well, Ill adjust.